may · self help

Books and Me

The last time I opened a book to study was sometime during B school. I think it was either statistics or accounts or maybe even International business. I wasn’t able to sit and study for more than about ten minutes at a time. Everytime it was about eight mins i would get distracted and start doing something else till I realized that I had to go back and study. This continued every eight to ten minutes. Since the stuff i was learning wasn’t really hard I managed to get a passing grade. I always wondered why I am unable to focus on a task.

I think this started in school. I wasn’t interested in anything they taught me except for a little physics and math. I really had to put my head down and study. Thankfully everyone i knew did studied and that helped me sit down and focus atleast during exams. The moment i finished high school and went to college everything changed. The new found freedom was different from school. I spent more time behind college having a drink or a smoke rather than going to class. Obviously my parents did not know about this since both worked. Every once in a while my mother would be called to college and they would talk about me not going to class etc. Thankfully my grades were decent so that didn’t happen to often. At the same time i started to stud for the IIT exams. It turned out that i didn’t like it. Stuff they taught me was boring and I had no interest in it. I tried to study, looked a the book a few times but it was so boring. How can something be so boring. Anyways finished the IIT classes but i knew thats not for me. In the meantime the college sent me a notice saying that i had to find a different place to study. My dad quickly found another college for me. It was one week of no college to go too. It was perfect. At the new college it was easier. I could talk during tests so didn’t have to study to hard. The external exams were difficult. I wasn’t able to study and failed a couple of subjects. The fact is when you are drunk there is no way you can study. The supplementary exams to pass the two subjects was better. I tried to study. Put in little effort and managed to pass. I was under house arrest and had to study. My mum would make sure I studied. I somehow managed to study. i would take breaks every twenty minutes or so and managed to finish.

I got into an engineering course which was hard. It required that I sit in front of a book for long hours. I tried to study but that didn’t work. I am like a moth to the flame. Everytime i sat down to study i would get distracted. Sometimes a small noise outside kinda triggered the distraction. As expected the studying didn’t go well. The first year was ok but the second year onwards was a nightmare. It turns out that I am not very good with focussing on anything completely. The course didn’t catch my interest. It was boring. Somehow managed to get through. Started another course and started studying my masters. This time thankfully most of the course was only stuff that as an Entrepreneur you learn during the course of business.

book.jpgAfter about four years of opening a text book today I opened one. The past came rushing back. In two minutes I was distracted. This time i have way to many distractions than the last time. I mean come on the dogs need me to play with them. Also the house have to get cleaned. This is how i think. I know that somehow i should sit my ass down and study. If I put in some effort it would help. This time I am applying for a part time Phd program. What would be interesting is that I manage to get through the exam which is in two weeks. I am hoping Pip and Trouble will shut up and not act cute during my study time so that i can study and most of all Cathy makes me chai while I study.

Cheers.

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