I have been wanting to study a Phd for the last few years. Granted that when I say that wanting to study it means I have thought about it about once a month or so hence nothing serious. This year I planned to put in the effort and find a college to study. I don’t know why I choose this year but I guess it was about time.
Over the last couple of months my wife, mum and a bunch of friends have asked me why I want to study. What would be the outcome of it. Since they have known me for a while now I guess they know how much I detest opening a book. I have started to look for a reason and the only one which I think is the truth is “because I can”. Surprisingly that isn’t an answer that is acceptable. I have applied to a few colleges and managed to get an admit in one provided I pass an exam. Now that’s the tough part. Exams haven’t really been something I have traditionally been good at. I prefer a group discussion, interview with a panel etc. to an exam. I still remember the time when I applied for my MBA admission in Christ. I had a group discussion followed by a interview. The test was an all India test that I passed. I had gotten 601.5 and the Christ cut off for the course was 600. At the interview, I was asked about the business I ran and it ended with me saying “please call if you need any help with branding”. I managed to get admitted despite of having low grades. Turns out he interview panel did like me.
This time around I have written about 2 exams and one of them was at pervious school. I guess the test was a formality was there were only about 5 students who applied. Most of them were teaching in college and wanted to start studying again by studying an mphil. I had decided to apply for an Mphil instead of a phd so that could figure out if I was capable of seeing my doctorate through. The Mphil was the first step to see if I like the subject enough to study more. I had written down my research proposal which had an aspect of tourism. Since it was my very first applications I had chosen tourism and not management as my field of study. At the interview I was asked why tourism and not management. I guess they didn’t like the answer that I was interested in this and wanted to see what happens. Tried to talk to them on the subject of interest in terms of the practical experience I had but I guess there were more interested in the definition of tourism according to Unesco. I guess saying that I don’t know the answer and could google it isn’t a good thing. Once I figured out I did not stand a a chance of getting admitted I figured I had nothing to loose. I spoke about area s of study that are far more interesting and how I do not want to pursue the area of study from my previous course. Also told them that at the end of the course I may study something entirely different for my Phd. Only time would tell. Got a message at the end of the evening saying I wasn’t selected. A couple of days later I found out that I had not gotten selected in another university that I had applied too.
Not all hope of studying isn’t lost. I have about 2 colleges remaining that I have applied for admissions and its a possibility that I could get into either of them. The part that fascinates me is that in the past I wasn’t interested in studying but I managed to get admissions with ease and this time around when I want to do this its harder. It would be interesting to see if I can tell examiners that the reason I want to study is because “I can”. I don’t know if that will work but I will definitely try it. When I am asked by the interview panel why not a phd but an Mphil I have startd to tell them that I am not ready and the mphil is the first step. That seems like a convincing argument in most cases.
My research proposal needs lots of work. A friend who I sent it too gave me 1.5 on 10 for it. Seems like it isn’t something a doctorate student would write but a lay man. It seems like I have to put in the time and make sure that the proposal is upto that standard. When I had a paid subscription to international journals I didn’t bother to read it and today I am scrounging through the internet looking for free versions of it. My login for this journal doesn’t seem to work, apparently the day you graduate you are cut off.
The only thing I have control over is to put in the effort and study a little and hopefully that should be enough to get admitted to the course. The next few months seem interesting.